addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
I hate it. I hate having to see those four letters flash in my head all the time. I hate it when i'm sitting down and the only thing I can think about is how inadequate I am. I hate it when i've been staring at my work for hours and i STILL can't do that damn problem.
But I don't understand. I've been trying so hard... If someone were to tell me to "try harder" I'd probably either a) shoot them or b) shoot myself. Makes me wonder. Maybe I don't belong here... amongst the highly intellectual. Am really becoming more convinced that I have an IQ that is severely below average.
I don't want to keep on trying and keep on falling. You don't understand how painful that is. To see all your effort amount to nothing.
The truth is that i'm tired. It's just a matter of time before I crumble and nothing will be able to put me back together again.